AVN 's Inequality & Segregation Needs to Stop!

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My Mother-In-law

My mother-in-law is going through a very tough time now.  She has lived a very hard life, from her husband running out on her after 20 years leaving her as a single mother to car accidents and more. My mother-in-law found out in December she has larynx/tongue/mouth cancer.  Yesterday she went through hours of surgery to clear it.  It went from thinking she had stage 3 cancer to stage 4 A (big cancer).  She has one of the largest cancers they can operate on.

Luckily she came through surgery strong, and is doing well.  We saw her in ICU today, it was so scary and sad to see her lying in the bed.  It took us all a moment to find our composure. To see the scar where they operated on her mouth, chin, and throat was just unexpected. The recovery will be a long one, but the doctor seems to think she'll be back to work in four months.  A work that she has dedicated her life to and loves.  She is a flight purser.  I know this will push her to fight harder so she can get back to work.

She has gone through so much, and she is such a good and sweet person.  This is definitely is something she doesn't deserve.   I thought I'd share some pictures of her and vent about it a bit.

These are from happier times and from her modeling career. Yes the little guy is my husband. Wasn't he a cutie?

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Family Weekend

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Pics above are from this weekend - excuse some of the pics I had no make up on lol

 

Can I just say - I realize how lucky I am every time I spend time with my husband, step-daughter, and mother-in-law.  We had so much fun this weekend enjoying each others time.  Family is so important, whether it be your blood, step, or friend family.  We should cherish the moments we have, we have so little time.

We started our weekend with Joyful Noise!  I love Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah, sorry Queen, but Dolly is my Queen!  It was such a cute movie, and husband even liked it!  I was really surprised by this, since it was about a church choir, and he is a very strong atheist.  I guess my Dolly won him over!

After dinner we went out to this very cute and nice Mexican Restaurant.  My husband being half spanish loves his some Mexican cuisine.  What I loved is they had a mariachi band, who sang three songs to us, which was so sweet.  One of my fav songs is Cielito Lindo and it was so fun having us all sing it with them! How love and laughter can travel through song. Is amazing to me, and I wish time just stood still at those moments.

Dinner took us home where the mother-in-law watched movies, and hubby and the step-daughter played battleship.  It was so cute hearing them argue, they are so much alike. Very competitive, and have to be right. We stayed up till all hours or should I say hubby and step-daughter did!  Mother-in-law went to bed, after the first movie, and I fell asleep after 1 a.m. central time :P!

Today, the hubby, step-daughter, and I got up early to go to a breakfast place!  It was oh so good, with so much bacon!  If you live in the Chicago area, stop by Egg Harbor!  You will not regret it! After breakfast we hightailed it over to Best Buy to goof off on the equipment and new electronics they have.  The step-daughter and I had so much fun playing the PS3 dance game in the middle of the store.  Unfortunately they took pictures of us for promo, and we were both still in our pjs and no make up.  Just the kind of picture I want out there!  Looking like a bum, and jumping around like a crazy person.  Oh well, we had fun and that's all that matters!

Overall the weekend was awesome, and I hope everyone else had just as enjoyable weekend with whatever they chose to do!

Love,

Kelly

 

Some Funny Pics From 2011

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Forgiven!

I can already tell this is going to be a HUGELY shared post! Ha ha ha!

But seriously, there are some specific things that we can unknowingly do that will strangle our life and the joy that is meant for us. It's called..."staying mad at every single person who you think hasn't treated you right."

I can personally guarantee that this specific thing will indeed make you and your life miserable, because I DID exactly that.  After my mom died, I was angry between 16 to 21, and would lash out for no reason. I kept mental records of every wrong done to me by everyone from my dad to my boss. I sincerely believed every one of those wrongs, should be made right and with interest. I typically moved that person to the "banished" zone until they made enough apologies or did something to redeem themselves in order for me to allow them back into my life. It's very controlling. And rather ugly.

But what I've learned, and sometimes I have to have a refresher on it...LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS. And that I, personally, need to forgive quickly AND often. Even the same creep who keeps doing the same things that caused me to be offended, angry or hurt. This is MAJOR WORK. And to be able to forgive, is a sure sign of maturity and bliss.

And there is blessing in forgiving. It's FREEDOM for the offended. Most people think "staying mad" is a way to be in control or power, but it's not. It's like a strangle hold, but on yourself. Most times the other person suffers very little, and the offended person suffers the most. So why hold on to something that only hurts you, and rarely--the person who hurt you?

And there are some FABULOUS rewards for forgiving.

I get a lot of emails that people say "this or that was unforgivable" and even one email was so emotionally difficult that they said they could never forgive this one person because they killed their brother. Talk about intense. But even at taking the life of a loved one. You are harboring the pain inside and making it harder on yourself.  You have to let go of all the bad to heal.

I remember reading a book by Corrie Ten Boom, "The Hiding Place," and she actually witnessed her sister being raped and beaten while they were prisoners in a concentration camp during Hitler's Holocaust. Here's the really incredible part, that they very guard who did those things met her years later, and she FORGAVE him!
Now that is called forgiveness of steel! My forgiveness is whimpy like a wet noodle...I hope to have the spiritual maturity and strength of Ms. Ten Boom.

Well, I hope this had encouraged you to forgive in more ways than you thought before, and more often than you have in the past. Even if it's the same person you have to keep CHOOSING to forgive over and over again, it's worth every effort.

(PS: this is not for someone who is physically abusing you. You need to get out and away from them. And yes should forgive them, but it's not wise to stay in a physically dangerous place. Forgive from a distance.)

I love your socks off as you forgive! And I hope it expands your territory and brings abundance into every area of your life!

Forgiven,

Kelly

My New Years Resolution :)

To be more business oriented - to avoid drama - to support my community even if I dislike a certain girl.

I really feel we as trans-women make it hard on ourselves when it comes to connections with one another and others in general.  We play like we are in the movie Mean Girls.  As if we are still in high school, especially in the industry I am in.  Don't get me wrong there are lot of great girls and I have a few friends, but why can't girls just be happy for another girl?  One gets a toyline applaud them - one gets a mainstream part applaud them - one gets a husband that loves her and respects her applaud them.  The more we stick together and the more positive things to happen in our community will help our community.

We need to stop the hate with in, if we ever expect anyone to respect us.

I will be sticking to this New Years Resolution...I'm turning 30 April 19th.  I'm a grown woman - I have no time for childish antics.

Please share yours with me or maybe steal mine!

Let's spread some positivity!

Love,

Kelly

108 Things Obama Has Done As President :)

I’m sick and tired of people asking “What has Obama done?” So here’s a list of things he’s done since he’s been in office.

Remember: He was elected President. He wasn’t elected Jesus/God/or whatever fake creature with magjcal powers there is out there!

Things obama has done

THIS LIST IS NOT DONE / UPDATED. IT IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION

1. Saved the collapse of the American automotive industry by making GM restructure before bailing them out, and putting incentive money to help the industry

2. Shifted the focus of the war from Iraq to Afghanistan, and putting the emphasis on reducing terrorism where it should have been all along

3. Relaxed Anti-American tensions throughout the world

4. Signed order to close the prisoner “torture camp” at Guantanamo Bay

5. Has made the environment a national priority, and a primary source for job creation

6. Has made education a national priority by putting emphasis and money behind new ideas like charter schools, but speaking directly to school children in telling them they have to do their part.

7. Won the Nobel Peace Prize

8. $789 billion economic stimulus plan

9. Appointment of first Latina to the Supreme Court

10. Attractive tax write-offs for those who buy hybrid automobiles

11. Authorized construction/opening of additional health centers to care for veterans

12. Renewed dialogue with NATO and other allies and partners on strategic issues.

13. Beginning the process of reforming and restructuring the military 20 years after the Cold War to a more modern fighting force… this includes new procurement policies, increasing size of military, new technology and cyber units and operations, etc.

14. Better body armor is now being provided to our troops

15. “Cash for clunkers” program offers vouchers to trade in fuel inefficient, polluting old cars for new cars; stimulates auto sales

16. Changed the failing/status quo military command in Afghanistan

17. Closed offshore tax safe havens

18. Deployed additional troops to Afghanistan

19. Ended media “blackout” on war casualties; reporting full information

20. Ended previous policy of awarding no-bid defense contracts

21. . Ended media blackout on war casualties and the return of fallen soldiers to Dover AFB.

22. Ended previous policy of cutting the FDA and circumventing FDA rules

23. Ended previous practice of forbidding Medicare from negotiating with drug manufacturers for cheaper drugs; the federal government is now realizing hundreds of millions in savings

24. Ended previous practice of having White House aides rewrite scientific and environmental rules, regulations, and reports

25. American Recovery and Reinvestment Act has created 2.1 million jobs (as of 12/31/09).

26. Ended previous policy of not regulating and labeling carbon dioxide emissions

27. Ended previous policy of offering tax benefits to corporations who outsource American jobs; the new policy is to promote in-sourcing to bring jobs back

28. Ended previous policy on torture; the US now has a no torture policy and is in compliance with the Geneva Convention standards

29. . Launched Recovery.gov to track spending from the Recovery Act, an unprecedented step to provide transparency and accountability through technology.

30. Ended previous practice of protecting credit card companies; in place of it are new consumer protections from credit card industry’s predatory practices

31. Ended previous “stop-loss” policy that kept soldiers in Iraq/Afghanistan longer than their enlistment date

32. Energy producing plants must begin preparing to produce 15% of their energy from renewable sources

33. Established a National Performance Officer charged with saving the federal government money and making federal operations more efficient

34. Established a new cyber security office

35. Expanded the SCHIP program to cover health care for 4 million more children

36. Expanding vaccination programs

37. Families of fallen soldiers have expenses

38. . Provided the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) with more than $1.4 billion to improve services to America’s Veterans.

39. Federal support for stem-cell and new biomedical research

40. Funds for high-speed, broadband Internet access to K-12 schools

41. Responded with compassion and leadership to the earthquake in Haiti

42. Immediate and efficient response to the floods in North Dakota and other natural disasters

43. . Launched Business.gov – enabling conversation and online collaboration between small business owners, government representatives and industry experts in discussion forums relevant to starting and managing a business. Great for the economy.

44. Improved housing for military personnel

45. Improved conditions at Walter Reed Military Hospital and other military hospitals

46. Changed failing war strategy in Afghanistan.

47. Improving benefits for veterans

48. Increased infrastructure spending (roads, bridges, power plants…) after years of neglect

49. Donated his $1.4 million Nobel Prize to nonprofits.

50. Increasing opportunities in AmeriCorps program

51. Provided tax credits to first-time home buyers through the Worker, Homeownership, and Business Assistance Act of 2009 to revitalize the U.S. housing market.

52. Increasing pay and benefits for military personnel

53. Increasing student loans

54. Instituted a new policy on Cuba, allowing Cuban families to return “home” to visit loved ones

55. Cracked down on companies that deny sick pay, vacation and health insurance to workers by abusing the employee classification of independent contractor. Such companies also avoid paying Social Security, Medicare and unemployment insurance taxes for those workers.

56. Limited salaries of senior White House aides; cut to $100,000

57. Limits on lobbyists’ access to the White House

58. Protected 300,000 education jobs, such as teachers, principals, librarians, and counselors through the Recovery Act that would have otherwise been lost.

59. Limits on White House aides working for lobbyists after their tenure in the administration

60. Children’s Health Insurance Reauthorization Act on February 4, 2009, provides quality health care to 11 million kids – 4 million who were previously uninsured.

61. Lower drug costs for seniors

62. Making more loans available to small businesses

63. Many more press conferences and town halls and much more media access than previous administration

64. . Signed the Christopher and Dana Reeve Paralysis Act, the first piece of comprehensive legislation aimed at improving the lives of Americans living with paralysis

65. New Afghan War policy that limits aerial bombing and prioritizes aid, development of infrastructure, diplomacy, and good government practices by Afghans

66. Announced creation of a Joint Virtual Lifetime Electronic Record for members of the U.S. Armed Forces to improve quality of medical care.

67. New federal funding for science and research labs

68. New funds for school construction

69. Ordered all federal agencies to undertake a study and make recommendations for ways to cut spending

70. Ordered a review of all federal operations to identify and cut wasteful spending and practices

71. . Negotiated deal with Swiss banks to permit US government to gain access to records of tax evaders and criminals.

72. Phasing out the expensive F-22 war plane and other outdated weapons systems, which weren’t even used or needed in Iraq/Afghanistan

73. Reengaged in the agreements/talks on global warming and greenhouse gas emissions

74. Provided tax credit to workers thus cutting taxes for 95% of America’s working families.

75. Reengaged in the treaties/agreements to protect the Antarctic

76. Removed restrictions on embryonic stem-cell research

77. . Helped reverse a downward spiral of the stock market. On January 19, 2009, the last day of President Bush’s presidency, the Dow closed at 8,218.22. In February 2010, the Dow closed at 10,309.24

78. Renewed loan guarantees for Israel

79. Restarted the nuclear non-proliferation talks and building back up the nuclear inspection infrastructure/protocols

80. Provided attractive tax write-offs for those who buy hybrid automobiles.

81. Returned money authorized for refurbishment of White House offices and private living quarters

82. Sent envoys to Middle East and other parts of the world that had been neglected for years; reengaging in multilateral and bilateral talks and diplomacy

83. Unveiled a program on Earth Day 2009 to develop the renewable energy projects on the waters of our Outer Continental Shelf that produce electricity from wind, wave, and ocean currents. These regulations will enable, for the first time ever, the nation to tap into our ocean’s vast sustainable resources to generate clean energy in an environmentally sound and safe manner.

84. Signed national service legislation; expanded national youth service program

85. States are permitted to enact federal fuel efficiency standards above federal standards

86. Students struggling to make college loan payments can have their loans refinanced

87. Successful release of US captain held by Somali pirates; authorized the SEALS to do their job

88. The FDA is now regulating tobacco

89. Ended the previous stop-loss policy that kept soldiers in Iraq/Afghanistan longer than their enlistment date.

90. The missile defense program is being cut by $1.4 billion in 2010

91. The public can meet with federal housing insurers to refinance (the new plan can be completed in one day) a mortgage if they are having trouble paying

92. The “secret detention” facilities in Eastern Europe and elsewhere are being closed

93. US financial and banking rescue plan

94. US Navy increasing patrols off Somali coast

95. . Signed the Weapons Systems Acquisition Reform Act to stop fraud and wasteful spending in the defense procurement and contracting system.

96. Visited more countries and met with more world leaders than any president in his first six months in office

97. Improved relations with Iran

98. Improved U.S. policy on climate change

99. Set timetable for exiting Iraq (already started removing troops)

100. Improved relations with Russia

101. Improved relations with the Islamic World

102. Made progress towards greater cooperation on limiting nuclear proliferation

103. Economic stimulus plan has created jobs. (Unemployment rate decreasing)

104. Drastically slowed down the recession

105. Saved Wall Street

106. Passed the Lilly Ledbetter Act (equal work for equal pay) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilly_Ledbetter_Fair_Pay_Act_of_2009

107. HEALTHCARE REFORM

108. Ordered the military operation that killed Osama Bin Laden

THIS LIST IS NOT DONE / UPDATED. IT IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Once again, this is a lot to accomplish in such a short amount of time. He was elected President, he wasn’t elected Jesus.

Despair and Philosophical Thoughts

You ever have those moments where you question life……what it all means…and why sometimes life is just wanting to beat you down over and over again with a stick…that as hard as you try to be decent and nice…you lose family, friends, loved ones and you wonder does your life have meaning…have you really touched that many people..that your life would matter…I guess the fates decide that after your gone…I know death well…and I don’t think the people I lost ever truly knew how much they meant to me…feeling kind of philosophical and questioning life in general…
I always try to be optimistic and look on the good side of everything - but sometimes you have those days where nothing has gone right - you feel lost - I feel lost probably more cause I can’t dial my mom up when I have moments like these and I haven’t really felt “security” in life till I met my husband and step-daughter.  They make me feel I belong to something or someone.

I have my siblings sure, but since my mom’s passing things from high school on weren’t the same.  She was the rock that held us all together. And my family are busy a lot with their families.

I just question life sometimes that’s all - the meaning - I try so hard to be good but I’m not perfect and I do stupid things and I fail a lot at life like anyone else. And what I do to comfort myself is think of my husband and step-daughter.

But I lay here thinking about my mom and it’s so heartbreaking when I see others take their moms for granted. And it makes me angry I can’t pick up the phone to vent or ask for her to talk to me about anything or to tell me everything will be alright or security…anything…

I’ve done things in my life I regret and probably wouldn’t of happen if my mom and dad were here today….I did things to survive….I did things I wish I could take back..but alas that’s life….sometimes I wish I was normal or could go back to when my mom was alive and I had not a care in the world.

My husband has been my rock, and I try my hardest to show him I appreciate it. But alas  sometimes I wonder if I have affected many people’s lives…like my mom did. This was a post from one of those nights I was feeeling crappy and philosophical tonight and the meaning of life in general…sorry for the depressing entry…but I like to be honest with my fans and let you in on me and how I’m feeling…

Herman Cain, On The View

I just finished watching Mr. Herman Cain on the View. Of course, I was upset when he said that it is his personal belief that Gays choose to be Gay. I had to leave a lengthy comment on the View’s blog as well as on Mr. Cain’s website. Below is my comment:

I just finished watching Mr.Cain on the View. His comment about Gays choosing to be Gay is offensive. His reply to Joy for her to show him scientific proof that being Gay is not a choice proves to me how uneducated he is on this subject. There have been many scientific studies that have concluded that there is a strong genetic component to homosexuality. I would like to ask Mr. Cain when did he choose to be heterosexual? Or was he born that way?! I also want him to show scientific proof that says he was born heterosexual! Mr. Cain’s words that Gays choose their lifestyle empowers those individuals that bully and ostracize young gay children. It empowers all those people who say Gays are not worthy of the same rights and privileges of Straight US citizens. Mr. Cain, I want a President who is progressive on the social issues as well as the fiscal issues. You do not represent that type of President for me so therefore I will not give you my vote. However, I will give you some advise. Gays are a minority in this country and in this world. Because of this fact, it is easy to dismiss them and create laws that outwardly discriminate against them. DADT and DOMA are both laws aimed to disenfranchise this community of US citizens. My advise is for you to be more educated and more open to the civil rights causes of the Gay community. As an African-American, I would have suspected you to be more sensitive to discriminating words. Young Gay Americans are killing themselves because words like yours tell them they are not worthy. Another advise, be very careful of the words you choose to say on national television! One last thing, I believe that you and your fellow GOP candidates owe the young heroic Gay soldier that “Came Out” to you during the last Tea Party debate and asked you about DADT an apology. This man who is risking his life by serving our country was booed by the audience. You and your fellow GOP candidates stood there in silence. Your silence empowered the audience. I was beyond appalled by the display of carelessness. Not one of you had the decency let alone the courage to reprimand the audience for their unruly behavior.

Respectfully submitted,

Kelly
Chicago, IL