Hormones!

I couldn't live with out my hormones, but boy can they be downers.  Tonight has been one of those days where I have just felt ugly and shitty all day.  No matter how hard I tried to fix myself up, look at myself in the mirror and say I'm beautiful, or have my husbands reassurance and love telling me how beautiful I am.

Sometimes hormones just put you in a mood of despair.  I usually take St. John's Wort to counteract these moods, but I have been forgetting to take them.  I know it upsets hubby to see me like this, he always worries he did or said something wrong that day.  But he didn't, the fact he holds me and tells me how beautiful I am really helps.

But it's like the levels our just fighting you to be sad!  I'm barely ever sad or upset.  I always try to look on the brighter side of life, but lord knows you can't be happy all the damn time.  So I let out a big cry tonight.  Which helped!  Sometimes I look in the mirror and see the ugliest creature known to man.

Sometimes I look at myself and think how could anyone think I'm attractive.  But ladies and gentleman I am here to tell you these are normal feelings.  If there was no sadness we wouldn't know the true power of happiness.

Hormones make us soft and transform us, but they also mess with our levels.  So girls the next time you are feeling way low.  It may not be you necessarily.  It could be your hormones playing an evil joke on you.  I suggest a cry fest, and call a friend or lover to make you laugh.

I thought I'd share this, because I always get the you lead such an awesome life.  You are always so happy.  Yadda, Yadda, Yadda lol

I'm here to tell you..I cry at least every few weeks.  And I feel ugly at least every 3 weeks lol

I love you guys - Kelly

Today is my anniversary!

My husband and I have been together 3 years and it's just crazy to think that.  I will admit on other days it feels like we were together for 20 years!  He is my best friend, lover, and yes we fight here and there...but at the end of the day we realize how important we are to each other.

It's really made me grow up and realize relationships take sacrifice, dedication, patience, understanding, forgiveness, caring, communication, and did I mention patience and forgiveness?  If you love someone you must forgive.  If you love someone you need to listen and hear them out, before you just argue your point.  If you love someone you must sacrifice and work as a unit.

Like any couple we have had our ups and downs but the last year and a half we have been soaring high.  I think it's because we both turned 29 this year, and we also realize how lonely our lives would be with out each other.  I think our biggest issue was my past life in the porn industry, and he has now accepted it.  Now that isn't an issue!  Thank goodness!

I don't know what he has planned today, but whatever it is I will love it.  Due to I know he will put his heart into it.  I don't need fancy shmancy gifts or diamonds.  I have never been that girl.  As long as I have him by my side I'm truly happy.  My life is brighter and more stable, because of him.  Now when I lay in bed at night I know I only have to reach a few inches and I have him there.  I know when I cry or upset I have him there to lean on.

I love my husband even more on this special day..and as I write this..I'm tearing up. GRR I'm such a girl! lol But I hope everyone has a great weekend! All my love and hope for each and every one of you - Kelly

Happiness is NOT a destination...

it is a way of life!

I LOVE THIS SIGN!

today is beyond busy...I should wear rollerskates to make me go faster today....huge love, Kelly

Family Ties!

Tonight we visited my hubbie's mom, because he wasn't feeling well today (what a baby lol).  However, it was complicated by his mother and him having a huge fight that's a recurring argument in their lives (ack).  Know, however, I am very proud of him for not blowing up (he has a short fuse) and for comforting her.  They have sort of a destructive past life, due to her inability to get over the fact  that his father ran out on them so early on.  He was her one true love.  I'm glad I can help stabilize their relationship and start a new family.  I'm glad my hubby has become more aware of not blaming his mother for everything.  It takes two to be a parent, and he doesn't fully understand where his mother comes from.  However it's not something a child should need to understand.  I'm just glad they are talking to each other calmly and admitting each others faults.  And not screaming past one another.  I love my mother-in-law and I love my husband.  I know sometimes she has a hard time dealing with the fact that I'm a transsexual, but at the end of the day she always tells me you are so beautiful and sweet and helpful.  I couldn't ask for a better women in my sons life.

So I am super sorry about the cam4 show tonight - we weren't at our best.  But we all talked more tonight and are going to bed happy and a family!
Love you guys!

Kelly!

Flawless Skin in 5 Easy Steps!

I get asked all the time:

"how do I get perfect looking skin and foundation that doesn't look cakey or heavy, but dewy, light and natural?"...

get your foundation out and let's get started!

STEP 1 (optional)
apply a PRIMER- your skin will look smoother and your make-up will last longer
either to smooth the skin- minimize pores or fine lines
OR
to control oil and shine
*i love URBAN DECAY COMPLEXION PRIMER POTION in brightening

STEP 2
apply a foundation -all over your face and make sure to blend down onto your neck...you don't want to look like you have a "foundation-beard" ha ha

*I love:

budget-beauty price: L'oreal TruMatch Super Blendable Make-Up
beauty bucks-but worth it: Laura Mercier Silk Creme Foundation

STEP 3
"CONCEAL BABY! CONCEAL!"
apply concealer to all the "hot spots" of redness or dark circles!
1. your eyelids - from lashline to brows
2. around the nostrils (a red nose is only cute on Rudolph!)
3. around the lips (to get red of the red pigment if you're apply a lip color and wants its true color to show)
4. under the eyes in a "triangle shape"
5. BONUS: down the nose and between the eye brows - to make the nose look straighter and brighten the eye and brow area.

* i love:

beauty-bargainista: Revlon Photo Ready Concealer ( i lovvvvve this!)
bang for you beauty bucks: COVER FX  Foundation (i use it as a concealer because it's so heavy)

STEP 4
dust powder on area that get oily
OR
that you're going to put make-up on
the nose
eyelids
chin
forehead
any translucent powder will be fine

STEP 5
THE GLOW, BABY! this is how you get your make-up to look dewy, light and glowy!
HIGHLIGHT CREAM:
i love: Pearl & Shell from MAC
or High Beam from Benefit
budget-beauty trick: use a frosted or shimmery lipstick as a highlight cream!

DAB either a shimmery powder like Silver Dusk Highlight Powder from MAC OR
a shimmery eyeshadow...onto cheekbones and down the center of the noes! 
AND VOILA! PERFECT, NATURAL LOOKING DEWY, GLOWY SKIN THAT JUST MAKES YOUR FACE LOOK LIGHT AND FLAWLESS!
HOPE THIS HELPS :)

LOVE and cakey free foundation - Kelly

Yay for Kim Petras!

They are playing her song here in the states!  I believe she is the youngest transsexual to go through the post op surgery!  She is so talented and deserves this!

We should help support her dream of becoming a huge pop singer!

Tried my new hair extensions

I got my new hair extensions finally and decided to try them out!  I will take better pics soon :) The dress I am wearing a fan bought me :)

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