Changing the way you see yourself...From Hate To Love

I spent many years hating who I was. I looked in the mirror and only saw imperfect, gross, and ugly staring back at me.

Here’s the other edge to the double edge sword of “hating yourself”—which is that you hate everybody else too. This is because you can only give away what you have. All I had was hate for me, and that’s all I had to give away.  I remember having a lot word vomit about a lot of people out of jealousy when younger.  I am so glad I'm over that stage of my life.

So how do you stop hating yourself when you can’t buy a new life, body, eyes, thighs or whatever it is that you hate about yourself? It begins with the inside. Why? Because finding redeeming qualities and personality that stand out can make anyone beautiful.  I've come across a lot of "beautiful people" with really horrible attitudes  and personalities that people just hate.  I have also come across people with beautiful personalities and attitudes about life who aren't attractive that seem to attract people like light to a moth.   But remember this also takes believing in yourself and surrounding yourself with positive people.  As well as accepting you and being the best you can be!


Remember love is blind for a reason. Not some crazy self absorbed thing, but true love is: (I know this is a bible verse (I'm an atheist), but it's still one of my favorite quotes from when I was a child)

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

This is the love that you nee to give yourself, and when you do — you are filled on the inside. And with that loving heart and new attitude towards yourself is HOW we are able to show real love to others. Because first we must give love to ourselves, then we may give of it freely to others. Until then you will have superficial relationships with lovers and friends.  You'll be infused with jealousy which will cause you to gossip, hate, and be low and mean to others.

I am hoping for every pair of eyes that reads this. That you will fill yourself with love in every area of your life that has self hate, and that an attitude of gratitude wells up on the inside and restoration is done INSIDE so that you can give love on the OUTSIDE!

Find outlets - speak to someone about how you feel whether it be family, friends, or if you believe in God - confide in him.   Realize that these hurt feelings and self hate need to be flushed out!  Surround yourself with positive people and cut out the negative people who make you feel bad about yourself.

Just a tip what I  have done for years.  Everyday after I shower and still naked,  I tell myself I'm beautiful over and over again in the mirror about 20 times.  Then I dance to a few of my favorite songs to lift my spirits.  It has helped a lot.  Find what helps you!
Don't be afraid to confide your deepest feelings into someone you love - they are there to be an ear!  It's okay to hurt - we all do!  GOOD LUCK!

A ten gallon bucket of love,
Kelly

PS: Remember to Speak this out loud until you believe it, “I'm beautiful and deserve to be loved and I love myself!” because it’s the TRUTH!

Thanks Sean!

An awesome tatoo artist and artist I know from twitter is doing a portrait of myself and my husband.  I will show what he has done so far.  To show off his impressive talent.  Sean, on a personal note I will cherish this so.  I can't wait to have it in our bedroom.

Sean you have made me smile and brought joy to me for taking the time out and doing this creation for me.  You are so talented! I can't thank you enough

Picture below :) Hope you guys like!

Your Friend,

Kelly

Family Ties!

Tonight we visited my hubbie's mom, because he wasn't feeling well today (what a baby lol).  However, it was complicated by his mother and him having a huge fight that's a recurring argument in their lives (ack).  Know, however, I am very proud of him for not blowing up (he has a short fuse) and for comforting her.  They have sort of a destructive past life, due to her inability to get over the fact  that his father ran out on them so early on.  He was her one true love.  I'm glad I can help stabilize their relationship and start a new family.  I'm glad my hubby has become more aware of not blaming his mother for everything.  It takes two to be a parent, and he doesn't fully understand where his mother comes from.  However it's not something a child should need to understand.  I'm just glad they are talking to each other calmly and admitting each others faults.  And not screaming past one another.  I love my mother-in-law and I love my husband.  I know sometimes she has a hard time dealing with the fact that I'm a transsexual, but at the end of the day she always tells me you are so beautiful and sweet and helpful.  I couldn't ask for a better women in my sons life.

So I am super sorry about the cam4 show tonight - we weren't at our best.  But we all talked more tonight and are going to bed happy and a family!
Love you guys!

Kelly!

Dreams!

Don't be scared of your dreams or dreaming...
some people are so scared of failure that they never try...
but the only way to make it happen is to TRY!
Not one successful person will say they didn't try sweethearts!

Your dreams are there for a reason...no one else will create or do what you will. It's like if you asked two people to paint a picture of the same tree..each one would do it entirely different. That's the beauty of each one of us being made unique, with fingerprints and "talent-prints"...that only belong to each of us. No one...NOT ONE, other person has your "talent-prints"....your
"dream-prints"!!!

The world needs you to flourish and blossom your dreams...remember...
YOU ARE THE ONLY GARDENER OF YOUR DREAM GARDEN!!
Make SURE to:

Water your garden...
(Discipline yourself and encourage and fill your dream garden with positive thoughts.)

Pull the weeds...
(the negative thoughts from you and everyone else!)

And last but not least Fertilize...

(encourage yourself daily...despite what anyone else tells you! Tell yourself...I am special, no one else has what I've got! The world needs me)

"You are more beautiful than you know...more talented than you think...and more loved than you can imagine!"- Kelly (my words to each one of you!)

You can do it! Be like a speeding train that no one can stop...headed straight for dream town!

AND one last bit of wisdom my mama told me: "Desire without discipline leads no where!"
so discipline yourself to do something about that precious dream of yours, that keeps knocking at your heart!

You put that dream in the suitcases of your heart...it's time to unpack those dreams and show them to the world!!!

This blog was typed with love and so much encouragement for you...please feel all that I filled it with for you!!! Huge love you wonderful, precious dreamers, you!

You can pass this message on to anyone else that has a "dream garden" that could use this little bit of "dream grower"!

Your Friend - Kelly

You should not be happy!

Every single one of us has been depressed, sad, hurt, hopeless...
Whether you are sad over a relationship, the lack of a relationship, no job, not the job you want, no money, huge bills, you're frustrated with your life, your family... 

You should not be happy!

This probably sounds weird coming from me...who seems eternally happy...so happy, that some people have accused me of being fake! They couldn't figure out how someone could be happy all the time!
And the truth is, I'm not happy all the time.

 

Happiness is based on some thing or event, that MAKES you FEEL happy. (It makes me happy when someone hugs me or says something nice to me....those are my personal examples....)...but JOY is really what I have. Joy is what's in your heart no matter what is going on around you...

I have been through some less than wonderful things in my life, but I have been joyful during these...I've been able to smile, laugh, and be joyfully "happy" during these times... 

Not a lot of people have joy in their hearts...and happiness is too wishy-washy to depend on...
If someone doesn't make us happy, we're sad, if nothing exciting or hopeful happens, we're sad...if someone hurts our feelings, we're sad...but JOY is something that we experience in our hearts...that isn't dependent on outside circumstances...

People ask me, "how are you so happy?"....And I answer my mom gave me/taught me the meaning of joy in my life. If you don't agree with me, that's totally fine....if you do, that's awesome...I just wanted the share the reason that I have joy in my life. Joy is what has always gotten me through everything!

Here's one thing that I heard yesterday, that was so great to let sink into my heart.

Be joyful always; give thanks in all circumstances!


Have the most joyfully day!!! Huge love from my heart to yours, and as my grama used to sign her letters: "JOYFULLY", Kelly

Really a new IPHONE 5 already??

(see...here I am with an iphone 3 still...I haven't even had the chance to get a new iPhone4 and I been way cellularly outdated! ha ha)

I feel like the keep that can't keep up with the "coolness"...
it's like just when you buy wide leg pants...skinny jeans are in...
you  buy all skinny jeans and and guess what....jeans up to your neck, are COOL now!

Man, and I just thinking about getting an iphone 4....my hubby just got one cause his iPhone 3 was stolen and I don't really notice that big of difference between the two BUT
now rumors of the iphone 5 are out!

YES THE iphone 5 is gonna blow old iphone 3 & 4 right out of it's shiny, "shatter-able" case!

why the iphone 5 (rumored to be out in June) will practically shoot fireworks out it's top:

• Dual Core Processor- making it work at ridiculous speeds


• It will have 5 billion megapixels..ha ha..ok not 5 billion but it will have better camera and video features


• It will run on  a 4G network..making 3G look like "3's not company...because 4's a party!"

• Expected to have Face Recognition Security so unless someone has an exact model of your face no one's gettin' into your phone!


• Video Chat on a 4G network instead of a "snoozy" 3G network


• Thinner and better design


• Shatter Resistant and Scratch Resistant Screen- now we're talking! (really did it need to be glass on the front and back of the 4G...well it was a good way to increase protective case sales!) ha ha


• The lowest model will have 32 G of space!


• Longer Battery Life - Up to 14 Hours of Talk Time On The 3G and 7 Hours on the 4G.(I could just live stream face-time more than half my day away!)


• HD Audio -even the sound will be sweeter to your ears!


• Built In GPS -Now you'll never be able to use the "i got lost excuse"...ha ha ha

Why this makes me sad:

*I haven't even got the 4G iphone!

*Now I have to wait till the 5G iPhone comes out! ha ha

*Once again, if I relied on material things to be cool....I'd still be the kid eating lunch by herself in the cafeteria.

AND A NEW IPAD 2... I don't even have an ipad 1!

On this one...I can't even begin to keep up, when I don't even have an ipad to update!

RUMORS of the ipad 2:

from this picture it's supposed to show the microphone on the back as well as the ipad 2 on there!

It's "rumored" to have 2 cameras...one on the screen for face-time video chats...and one for taking pics

ohh la la...they sent the old ipad on a diet..and the new ipad 2 is now half it's size! ha ha

Maybe I'll do that to lose my baby weight, introducing Kandee 5, 4 times the baby, 5 times the weight loss! ha ha ha

The new ipad will also come with a SMGPS- Soul Mate GPS...so you can see exactly where your soulmate is to track them down! ha ha ha (just kidding, I just made that part up!)

Good thing I don't rely on having the latest and greatest to be the coolest...I like being outdated and slow...ha ha ha....I'll be like a cool vintage car with big fins in a world full of Prius's...

pink cadillacs and brick phones....

your friend Kelly!

How To Deal With Rude People!!

I think everyone at some point in their day or week, comes across the path of at least one person who is rude to you.

I encountered a few people in my life that were extra-rude! I first thought, maybe they are just having a bad day, maybe they can't help that they lack people skills and kindness. Then as I continued to speak to rude person #1, I realized, "I think they are just rude!" Then I came across rude person #2, and again I was amazed at their rudeness! How can these people go though life mowing people over with their horrible attitudes and words?

This is what I've realized when I "get" to come in contact with these "rude-y's"...

#1. Don't let them effect you with their rudeness ~ I try to never react with what I feel like dishing out to them...that would make me just as awful as them.
To the rude lady at the cupcake shop who rudely tried to make me feel like an idiot..to which I could have rudely replied, "You are one of the rudest business people I've ever dealt with...I could go on twitter/youtube/facebook and have thousands of people hear about how stinkin' rude you are and that NO ONE should ever buy your stupid cupcakes. You have the worst people skills and HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO anyone, let alone a potential customer that way you depressing little woman! I don't want anyone to ever have to deal with you or your pretentious little cupcake bakery!" BUT I DIDN'T SAY ANY  OF THAT! (i just had to think of all the awful things I COULD have said, but I don't even naturally think like that! ha ha ha)
Instead I said, "OK, sounds like this won't work out. Maybe I'll try back when you have all your ordering figured out. Have a great day, bye!"

#2. Never let these rudey ones put a damper on your happiness ~ Don't let them steal your happiness, that only lets them win with the "power of their rudeness"! The best revenge is being extra happy and not-effected!

#3. Overpower the rudeness ~ that saying kill em' with kindness is my favorite way of dealing with rude people. Nothing makes a "rudey" feel worse than when you are nice to them...it takes the angry wind, right out of their sails!

#4. People that are rude have no clue what graciousness is ~ Graciousness is marked by kindness, sympathy, and unaffected politeness (according to the dictionary) and rude people are the complete opposite - Ungraciousness is an offensive lack of good manners. We want nothing to do with that.

#5.  Feel sorry for rude people ~ Yes, that's right, feel sorry for them, this is a horrible "disease of rudeness" that they have. I bet they have misery and anger in their lives at every turn. That's why it spills out of them like an overflowing bathtub...you get filled up on what's in the inside and it spills out.

#6. Spill some kindess ~ just like the "rudey's" are full of anger and misery (their bathtubs are overflowing)......make sure you fill yourself with kindness, so that kindness spills out on everyone that comes in your path, from a waitress to your grandma, to a stranger that you hold the door open for, or let go in front of you in line when you see they only have a few items and you have a whole cart full.

Rudeness only has an effect if we let it. Are there rude people in the world? Yes. Are they almost everywhere we go? Yes. Do we have to be victim to their rudeness? NO! We can choose to put up our mirror of "rude-reflection"...not only will it bounce back the rudeness that they just spit out at us...so that our kindness will show them how "rude-iculous" they were, but also, that we WILL NOT LET IT EFFECT US or our DAY! And even if they still keep on keepin' on with their rude ways.....we can rejoice that we are not like that, and get away from them as fast as we can!

May you be a light of sparkling kindness wherever you go today...leave a path of people who feel better for having come into your presence. A big smile, a nice "thanks you so much!", and a kind, "have a great day!"...can totally bring a smile to someone's day.
A compliment, a kind smile, and something nice or encouraging...will always make someone's day better!

Let's be a huge revolution of "happy-day-maker's" where ever we go today...and every day!

typed with love from someone who battled a few "rudeys" all day...and not a one of them won! ha ha ha

huge love and super big smile...Your Kelly!

How to get rid of that stormy day!

ARE YOU GOING THOUGH A STORM IN LIFE?

I love the saying: "Don't Let the Storms of Your Past, Cloud Your Future"

I've had many storms in my life, from being cheated on, hurt, feeling like my dreams were over, the pain of the loss of my parents, being a transsexual, being broke, I could keep going on and on (ha ha ha)...and I definitely could've let that gloom up my future.

• Whether it was a relationship "storm"- someone hurt you, cheated on you, broke your heart, betrayed you.


• A depression storm- you feel hopeless, sad, and feel like giving up.

• A financial storm - you are feeling like your wallet is way to empty, your bank account has gone on a diet, and your bills are scaring you...


• Past Storms- you had a bad childhood, loss of someone dear to you, you've grown up with a family life, you've had trouble in your past, you feel guilty over something.

Chase the Storm Clouds Away

You have to make sure you chase the storm clouds away, and let the beautiful rainbow of your future come out and shine.

Your thoughts are more powerful than you know!!!

• If you just let any old "stormy" thought keep creeping into your mind- you are sure to stay in "stormy-land"!


• You must "re-set" the weather in your life!


• Think about how you want things to be, instead of how things are or how they have been. ~ If you've been hurt or disappointed, stop thinking about how hurt and disappointed you are and think about and tell yourself, "I am strong and have a bright future! I am getting better and better each day!"

• And just like you can't eat once a week and think that will keep you filled, you need to eat several times a day...same thing with your thoughts- you need to feed your mind with positive thoughts all day long!

GET READY TO LET THE RAINBOW SHINE IN YOUR FUTURE

Sure we may have more storms in life...but as long as you don't let the rain and clouds ruin your future...you can anticipate the rainbow!

The sun will always come out!

And sometimes our tears are like the rain that waters the rainbows in our heart! So, my precious hearts....if the rain or tears are falling right now in your life....know that I am sending you a hug right now, for my arms to hold your heart...and say, "it's okay....this storm will pass, and  your future will grow full with blossoms, for even the flowers need the rainstorms to grow!"

My life has seen storms of all kinds....heartbreak, hopelessness, hurt, sadness, no money...just feeling like I can't go on...

and through it all I would tell myself, "Stop it Kelly...you better stop it with this sinkin'-stinkin'-thinkin'....and get your mind back on track with positive thoughts right now!"

*where the mind goes...the person follows....

Lead your self into great thoughts and places.

Tell yourself:

• I am great (even if you feel you're not...yet!)


• I am cherished and adored!


• My future is going to be awesome!


• I can't wait to see what is waiting for me  in this life!


• I will make my dreams come true!


• I will find someone that will cherish and love me so much they will NEVER even think of hurting me in ANY way at all!


• I am worthy of being loved!


• I am happy- rain or shine!

I love you all so much...and I don't care what storms you have in your past...THEY WILL NOT CLOUD YOUR FUTURE....the storms only watered the blossoms in your life....and will make your future that much more beautiful with "watered" flowers!

This day is great and is waiting for you to change your thoughts, which will change your mind, which will change your life!


Watch your thoughts, for they become your words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become your character.
Watch your character, for it becomes you destiny.
- Anonymous

People always ask if it's okay to repost something I've written- PLEASE, please, please feel free to pass this on, post it where ever you'd like...I want to be able to encourage as many hurting, "stormy" hearts as possible!

Think about thoughts that are wonderful today....don't let those little "cloudy" thoughts sneek in...
huge love and even bigger, better thoughts....your Kelly

Family Day & Christmas

So today my hubby and I are spending the day with his daughter and my step-daughter.  We decided to go to her favorite place Magiquest!  It's kind of funny to watch two grown adults playing, but hey what they hell we had fun! We played the quest game and we dueled. I was kicking everyone's butt in the duel till one of the guys showed my hubby how to play DAMN HIM!! lol

If you don't know what Magiquest is, it's very harry potteresque like. You get wands and have to collect different runes. It was my first time getting my own wand today so I had to catch up! My hubby and sweet baby girl both got Master Magi! I will get it next time. I got 9 of the runes in an hour, when they both only got 5 or 6 their first times. I got a pink wand (of course)! I will post pictures. We also got her a dragon - her favorite at the moment.

We ate lunch at the infamous Ed Debevics. It was her first time going. She loved it. Her father was so against it, but he actually liked it in the end. They do a cute dance and treat you rudely on purpose.  Now she is addicted and wants to go all the time. We will see. We will spend the rest of the night playing board games.  I love these times!  Makes me feel so happy to look at my husband smiling and my beautiful step-daughter full of joy as a child is supposed to be.

Christmas we spent with my hubby's family. We went out to eat at a nice Italian restaurant and had the best conversation! Full of love and cheer, as well as understanding!  His mom was so funny, my hubby tried tricking her that the bathroom was in this private party to embarass her. It didn't work lol! The next morning his mom made Eggstrada and french toast and we opened presents! It was the most fun. I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas!

INCLUDED PICTURES FROM MAGIQUEST MY WAND IS THE PINK WAND,  MY HUBBY'S IS THE BROWN ONE, THE STEP-DAUGHTERS IS THE SILVER AND THEN PICTURES OF OUR CHRISTMAS TREE AND DECORATIONS IN THE BEDROOM

 

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