A great read for all women into men or raising a boy into a man :)

 

I have to honestly say that this book is a MUST read for any woman who is married to a man, dating a man, wanting a man or has a little man she is raising of her own!

I’ve read other books on relationships, the different needs of men and women, but by far this little book is a power packed page turner!

Everything in the book is “real” stuff. She interviewed over a thousand guys and then gives you the results of her research…she asks stuff that your man probably won’t answer truthfully, even if you tried to ask. Ex: what exactly happened in their head after that mini skirt walked in front of them…and it’s based on statistics so you get an understanding of what the majority of men thought, and what the few minority had to say.

And I like to use President Reagan's line "trust but verify." So I read a few of the questions and results to my own man, and he agreed her research and conclusions. This alone is astonishing because my man usually doesn't agree with much. And what was surprising to me was how much I DIDN'T know about how men think, after all I've been married to one for 3 years, you'd think I would have picked some clues up by then--nope! But thanks to Mrs. Feldhahn, I'm getting clued in!

I know you’ll be blessed by this book as I have been, and the man (or men) in your life will thank you for “finally getting it” puns totally intended! Ha ha ha!

Happy Reading,

Kelly

When Do You Press The Override Button?

For me, it’s most of the time. My feelings lead me toward a dangerous path more often then not. Just think of the many feelings we have on a daily basis (just a few common ones): anger, contempt, jealousy, lust, rage, anxiety, annoyance, hatred, embarrassment, loneliness, pity, pride, guilt, despair, disappointment. You might think, well those are all the bad feelings…and yes, you are correct. Those are typically the kind that give us the most trouble!

Also, I can feel about 20 different ways about the same thing in a single day. This a clue that my feelings are that reliable. It reminds me of that old saying, “feelings are fickle”
(Def. of Fickle from Dictionary.com: unstable, unsteady, variable, capricious, fitful).

For example, when somone is really sick with bulimia, and they experience any one of these feelings—they send them into a desperate binge and purge cycle. We see this with other people who will say things like, “I need a drink.” They are allowing their feelings to rule their decisions. I have made many poor choices because I thought that my FEELINGS were right, rather than testing them and seeing how they measured up.

When we ARE:

Angry

BE ANGRY, but do not relinquish yourself to all your anger and don't do anything crazy.

So we CAN be angry, but what we DO with it matters. I still get angry, but I tell myself you can handle this and don't take it out on others. You can replace “my saying” with whatever you struggle with.  You can control your emotions if you try.

Lonely

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified to be alone. You must enjoy your own company and love yourself before you can have a healthy relationship with others.

Anxious

We don’t have to hang on to that yucky-ness of anxiety. Talk about it and relinquish it to others who care about you, I’m so thankful I have somewhere to put it rather than wear it around all day and be miserable.

The best news is that we can CHOOSE to still do the right thing, even if it FEELS wrong.

When you are in the heat of the intense FEELINGS, call out to a loved one for their strength to overcome.  Don't be scared to ask for help.

I know this has helped me a lot - asking for help and confiding in people I love!

Big Override Buttons,
Kelly

Proud to be Transsexual

You know how many people make the good and the bad lists.  I am going to do this for the reasons I have always come to the conclusion why I am glad I'm a transsexual.  See if you can come up with your own lists.  There is of course bad reasons, but the good outweighs it for me.  I find many focus too much on the negativity, and like playing the victim card.  I have never been one of those types and don't ever plan on being that way.  Playing the victim only weakens you, and turns people away from you.  There's a point when people just don't feel sorry for you anymore.  It makes them want to turn against you!  Nor does it inspire anyone!!  I'm a transsexual and I get annoyed with those people and the transsexuals who do that crap!

I have never liked pity either.  I hate when people say "Wow, your life must of been so hard", "I'm sorry", "It must be hard being like you", and so on.  Umm NO not really!  GRRR!!

1) I transitioned young (age 12) it was a big decision to make.  It challenged my maturity, self-awareness, confidence, and the people around me.  I am thankful for this experience.  It's made me more thankful for my family who supported me, the friends who stood behind me, challenged me to change people's minds, and gave me a will to be me.

I truly believe if I hadn't of transitioned at the age I did.  I would of been a shell of a person.  Unhappy, mad at the world, and held fear inside my very being.

I also believe if I had been born a genetic female.  I wouldn't have the wisdom, confidence, or backbone I gained from being a transsexual.  I probably would not think outside the box like I do now. I might be one of the people who didn't understand minorities or people who are different.  I may be a brain dead wannabe like so many are today.

2) I'm happy to be different than others. Otherwise I would take this life, my friends, and normalcy for granted. I cherish the normal life I've been able to live.  I cherish the friends I've made, the family who stands beside me and accepts me, and the understanding and wisdom of myself and things around me.  Something I wouldn't of had otherwise.

3) It challenged my confidence giving me a backbone.  A backbone that has pushed me to fight for my community.  Go to high school as a girl, when kids can be the meanest.  My backbone has saved my life and inspired others.

4) It showed me true cruelty, and true kindness.  Something many don't see till they are older.

5) It showed me who my true alliances were and the love of a family.

6) It's given me an understanding of both sexes.

7) It's tested my patience, making me a lot harder to blow a gasket.

8) It's made me work harder for my looks, and be thankful for them when I achieved them. (many take for granted)

9) It's taught me empathy, compassion, and understanding. Something many don't have, nor will they ever have.

10) Last but not least, it's taught me to be thankful for the freedom I have to be me.  We take freedom for granted.

Let the tears fall!

I was eating lunch today...and even as my friend was making a joke that made me laugh...a  song came on by Bette Midler...and "safely hidden" from my friend on the phone...tears slipped down my face, as I listened to the song ...and I remember being not even in my teen years, and her saying this is our song and whenever you hear it think of your mommy...my heart just hurt. And I wanted to go back to that time again...I remember shopping with my mom that day for school clothes (the first year I lived as a girl age 12)....

Last night, I checked my phone to see a text from my sister about my mom...and
this song...in combination with some other things going on in my life...made tears fall like rain...but hopefully it washed my heart a little...

Something my momma used to say when she was alive...

"Those who sow (work) in tears..shall reap (take in, receive) in joy!"...this was like the biggest hug to my spirit...

We get these thoughts that try to discourage us...break our spirit...steal our joy....

and we MUST...must....be diligent and courageous in our thinking...not letting these pains and hurts of life...try to stop us...and kidnap our joy...

it never fails...as soon as you start working hard for something..going after your dream...trying to quit a bad habit...repairing an emotional wound....
it seems as if a sign that says "please attack me...make this harder than it is"...comes on...and next thing you know your doubting your ability and your strength...

I cried today a lot....and as no one answered their phone to talk with my "lonely" little self...I had no options left but to listen to a cd....I put in a cd of mine....and the voice boomed through the speakers right to my heart....and made me feel hope again..it was like it was saying...
NEVER GIVE UP!!!! Never let your "down" thoughts keep you down....

if you are hurting.....just know every tear is precious....and it is most definitely watering the beautiful flowers of blessings that are just waiting to spring up!!!

huge, huge love from my heart to you......and please feel the hug I'm sending too....I know I could always use an extra "hug though"......

Your Friend, Kelly

GET TESTED!!!

Make sure you guys get tested REGULARLY!  To stop the spread of STD's!!  It's the only way we can help control it!  Your Friend, Kelly

Transsexual - What is it??????

Dictionary Description -

1. One who wishes to be considered by society as a member of the opposite sex, because they have the external genitalia and secondary sexual characteristics of one sex, but their personal identification and psychosocial configuration is that of the opposite sex.

2. One who has undergone a sex change

And so on and so forth it keeps going and going...

My description:  Now remember this is an opinion, and as an opinion it can be discounted by others as they so wish to do.  It doesn't mean it will change my opinion. I think every transsexual will have a different take on what a transsexual is and that's fine.  I don't feel like any of us can explain exactly how it feels or what it is to be a TRANSSEXUAL.  Or even UNDERSTAND WHY...it just IS!

A transsexual to me  is someone that feels that their body does not match their soul!  Someone who internally feels inside they are of the opposite sex and take the steps to fix it.  I call the others scared to become their NEEDED gender to be happy.  I don't consider everyone a transsexual, until they start living it!  Living the life and fantasizing about the life are two entirely different things.  And until you walk in the shoes darling..you have no right to call yourself a TRANSSEXUAL...Some may find that cruel, but it's real talk from me to you :)

Being a transsexual we are very taboo still, and many do not understand us.  Our community faces much social degradation and misunderstanding.  Not only from the straight community, but also from the gay community.   I want to tell you though their opinions do not matter!  Your opinion matters!  Remember your haters can only make you stronger!

Haters are going to hate!  People hate what they can't understand or perhaps they feel attracted to or feel like.  People in general fall into two categories either they like it or hate it!  There is no use killing yourself to try to make everyone like you!  Just be you and the real people that matter will fall in line!!

What do most people think of transsexuals?  They think we are ill, gross, perverted, prostitutes, gay, sex objects, fantasies (like unicorns), funny, drag queens, entertainers, outrageous, BEAUTICIANS/Make-up artists to help others less fortunate, and the list goes on and on!

So lets go through a list of stuff people say or do when they come into contact with a transsexual..Calpernia Addams the beacon to Transgender rights did a funny youtube video about this..What not to say/ask a Transsexual....I think she basically summed it all up!!  I couldn't really add anything more to this...so watch these videos :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOjeZnjKlp0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLbf37pb1U0&feature=relmfu

Your Friend, KELLY  xoxoxoxo

By the way I'm still waiting to go to the gym GEEZE

Health Kick!

Hey guys, so I am on a new health kick.  I am 28 now getting closer to the 30 mark!  On April 19th, I turn 29 WOWEEEEE!!  Time flys by!!!!!!!!!!  Anyhoo I decided if I want to maintain my body and my looks I better start eating healthy, taking vitamins, and working out.

I have never really worked out a day in my life...I don't consider gym class in school "WORKING OUT"....and when I danced and did tumbling that was a passion for me and I never felt like I was working out.

When I go to the gym with my husband I look at all these people that look like they are on hamster wheels ie the treadmill!  I stick to dancing in the studio, the ball (for abs), and the stair machine for my legs and ass.  However in my opinion my dance routine keeps me sweating and working the hardest.  I am going to make it a priority to at least work out 3 times a week..FRIENDS you will have to help me with this!  My husband works out 4 to 5 times a week, and he is good at kicking my butt in line.  Maybe you guys want to start working out too?  We can help each other!  hee hee for us junk food/couch potatoes!!  Trust me I can EAT...I may not look like it, but I pack it away!  I've always said I'm a fat girl trapped in a skinny girls body!

I have changed a lot of my diet too!  I mean I didn't go nazi on my diet, but I did change it!  Eating more raw vegetables and fruit, less sugars, less can items, and more salads and chicken. Before I was eating a lot of unhealthy fatty meals!! I also am cutting pop out of my diet to only once a day or when I need an extra KICK of energy, until I finish off the pack I have in the fridge I had already bought...then it will be only on special occasions when we go out to a dinner possibly.  I usually order Arnold Palmers though or some foo foo drink lol

With the changing of my diet I have also decided to enhance myself with vitamins!  Which it's great for every trans-female to do if they are taking hormones.  In general though a lot of the food we eat wont give us the vitamin intake we really need, so taking vitamins will ensure we do!  I will give you a list of what I take and was told to take by my old hormone doctor - Dr. Odea.  I know I have mentioned his name plenty in my other blogs and on Secret Kelly Radio!  I love this guy! If I was still going to California regularly I would still be using him!

I just bought a bunch of new vitamins last night at Walgreen's for all this it came to about $40.00 and it was buy one get one free how cool is that! By the way I LOVE WALGREEN'S...it's one of my favorite stores!



Now I will tell what I take and what each one does :)

Vitamins:

Collagen - take one capsule in the morning and one capsule in the evening daily with 10oz of water, preferably on an empty stomach or immediately before meal. This will help with your skin, hair, nails, anti-aging, and produce a very soft look for you.

Fish oil 1200 mg -  Take one capsule in the morning and one capsule in the evening daily with 10oz of water, preferably on an empty stomach or immediately before meal. Omega-3 fatty acids will help support a healthy heart. Omega-3 fatty acids also help maintain triglyceride levels already in the normal range. It can prevent aging, cancer, depression, bi-polar syndrome and chrone's disease.

Calcium 1200 mg -  Take one capsule in the morning and one capsule in the evening daily with 10oz of water, preferably on an empty stomach or immediately before meal. I think you know this is for your bone health! You don't want a hunch back when you are older do you?

Cranberry Vitamin - Take one capsule in the morning and one capsule in the evening daily with 10oz of water, preferably on an empty stomach or immediately before meal. This is for your cholesterol and helps keep infections and illnesses away. It purifies and lines your urine stream to keep you healthy! The hormones raise your cholesterol we want to keep it down!

St. John's Wort Vitamin - Take one capsule in the morning and one capsule in the evening daily with 10oz of water, preferably on an empty stomach or immediately before meal. Unless you feel drowsy take it only at night. This will help anxiety and depression. This will help prevent the mood swings and keep you sane and happy. It will promote a positive ATTITUDE!!

Vitamin D - Take one capsule in the morning and one capsule in the evening daily with 10oz of water, preferably on an empty stomach or immediately before meal. This will help keep your immune system regular, keep your brain and blood flow working well, and maintaining a healthy body weight.

OOPS I NEED TO ADD THAT I AM ALSO TAKING THE B12 VITAMIN - ONE IN THE MORNING AND ONE IN THE EVENING FOR BETTER BRAIN FUNCTION AND ENERGY...MY HORMONES AT TIMES MAKE ME SO TIRED!  THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN ANY ENERGY DRINK AND LETS NOT FORGET HEALTHIER! THOSE ENERGY DRINKS ARE NOT GOOD FOR YOU...GATORADE AND VITAMIN WATER AREN'T EITHER IT'S BASICALLY KOOLAIDE ie SUGAR WATER!

OKAY GOT TO SCOOTALADOO - EAT THEN GYM :) I'M GONNA WORK OUT HARD TODAY!

LOVE YOU GUYS!!  Your friend, KELLY :) (Have a Happy St. Patty's Day - If your not wearing green..I'll be PINCHING!!!)

I have a DARE for you!

This is the look of happiness even though my body feels more like "Sleepless in Seattle"...except that I'm no where near Seattle! ha ha ha

My random thoughts on tv right now: since I've watched more tv lately, than I think I have in years...I am now fully caught up on "reality-ness"...and man, I have to say...tv seems to like to enjoy showing how awful, rude, and mean people can be...
it's almost like the worse people are the more popular the show is!  This is so sad...and makes me feel awful seeing people being so mean and rude.

There should be a channel that shows fun, positive, nice people...that can still be cool and hip and stylish, but just nice and kind to other people...something that makes you feel better after you've watched it! I MEAN GEEZE! Come on HOLLYWOOD!!

Here's some wise words everyone should have taped on their mirror (ha ha ha):
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Imagine how great our days would be if everyone we talked to said kind, inspiring things....and didn't say anything rude, sarcastic, or mean!?!

This is a dare...or rather this is our mission, if you choose to accept it:

Today (go crazy..make it everyday)...stop yourself when you start to say anything that isn't positive, kind, or anything slightly gossip-y....
and only say things that have a positive spin, are kind, happy and encouraging.....
watch how YOU will not only feel happier...but so will everyone that is around you!
they will leave happier for having talked to you!

so let's get out there...especially all of YOU, because I'm not really leaving my house much with webcamming and having a family...ha ha ha...and spread some kindess...and extra "thank you so much" or "have an awesome day!"....or real compliment to brighten someone's day up!

You guys are wonderful and remember the happiness in your heart is like a flower with seeds that are waiting to be thrown all around...to grow more happiness in other people's hearts!

Go our there gorgeous and shine that beauty that's inside....your friend, Kelly!

BE BRAVE - Original Poetry - Dedicated to the LGBT Community

Are you swimming up stream

in oceans of blue

Do you feel like your sinking?

Are you sick of the rain

after all you've been through?

Well I know what you're thinking

When you can't take it

Just believe you can make it

Sometime soon I know you'll see

 

Cause when you're in your darkest hour

And all of the light just fades away

and When you're like a single flower

whose colors have turned to shades of gray

Please hang on and be brave

 

We're taking each step one day at a time

You can't loose your spirit

Let live and let live

Forget and forgive

It's all how you see it

And just remember keep it together

Don't you know you're never alone

 

Realize you're not defeated

And soon you'll be smiling once again

Then you won't have to feel it

You will let it go with the wind

Time passes us by

And know that you're allowed to cry

 

Cause when you're in your darkest hour

And all of the light just fades away

When you're like a single flower whose colors

have turned to shades of gray

Just hang on and be brave